He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Two words: nipple clamps
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