ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
