Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
