drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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