how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
