I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wish you could order shots online.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
