i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
