Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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