Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
