I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
