Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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