Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
