All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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