That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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