in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
