You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
