Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
