I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Randomize
