Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
