You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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