Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
