dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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