I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize