She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
