Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
