I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
