Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
