hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How does it feel to date your dad?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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