i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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