my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
