I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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