All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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