i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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