There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
