I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
