I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Another day, another engagement, another cat
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
