bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
