why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
