i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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