I cockslap morals
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
