We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Someone signed my nipple.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
