i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
please don't ironically join a cult
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