Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
