I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
