fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
