Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
