We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize