the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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