We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
