he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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