Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
