you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize