I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
