Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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