Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
