Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I am available for nakedness
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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