As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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