Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize