I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
